Enough, For Now

Its funny how joy creeps in in stages. Actually, to be more accurate, I think I should say that full, undeniable moments of joy are few and far between, but they do happen. I've been trying to get my mind around longing recently, and I can't say that it has been a very successful enterprise. Something that I have learned, however, is that longing for something, anything really, can weigh on me pretty heavily. I could keep talking in vague language about longing, but to be honest, the only thing I'm talking about is finding companionship and love with a woman. I know, the way I phrased that made it sound a bit sappy, but the subject matter isn't sappy at all. I don't think about it all the time, I don't obsess about it like I used to, and I don't freak out anymore. I am totally happy to be single right now. However, there are still moments when I feel it, when I feel, in a very human, earthly way, that I'm missing something, or rather someone. In the midst of that, I get flashes of what it might be like, of what the joy of finding someone to walk through life together with will feel like. For a moment, the curtain is pulled back, and thats enough, for now.